The Longing Heart
The story of my call to religious life began with an unconscious longing. As I started my search to satisfy that unconscious longing, I had opportunities to be with people and created things of this world. But they only filled me with more emptiness.
One day the Creator planted in me a seed–the thought of giving Him a chance to journey with me in this life and to experience His love through religious life.
At that time I thought to myself: “Me? A Religious Sister? Impossible!”
The seed kept growing and I asked myself, “Why do I want to become a Sister, what would I do?” And there were many other questions for both myself and for God. But, I did not get any answers. “Come and see” was all I got!
Although the seed was growing, I did not respond to the invitation right away; often, I just stopped questioning. I wanted to get on with my own life. But the unconscious longing of my heart keep growing in me. I thought to myself, “If I can give created things a chance, then why not give God, my Creator a chance?” Finally, I accepted the invitation and on Aug. 15, 2007, with God’s grace and the help of our Mother Mary, I entered into this mysterious adventure with the Sisters of the Congregation of Mary, Queen. I hoped to find all of the answers to my questions, and the journey began!
After a year as an Aspirant, there were more questions and I was even more confused. Toward the end of my novitiate, I still saw a mountain of limitations, namely, what I wanted to do yet was unable to do. That remained until the second year of my novitiate when God silently answered, telling me to be the person I am at the present moment and that what I would do would be the fruit of who I am–not how many great works I could do, but with how much love I would do the simplest acts. These acts would count more by doing them with love.
I knew by my hearing God’s answer to me, that prayer was my source of power. By praying, my questions would be answered and my heart would be filled. The answer may not always be what I expected or wanted, but I knew that His grace would be enough for me.
As I reflect on my vocation story, I can say that all has been grace, His grace supporting me and guiding me. I am blessed to continue my journey with the Sisters of the Congregation of Mary, Queen.
As a finally professed Sister, I have learned that what I should do, should first come from being the person that God created and called me to be. I also have come to realize two things: First, the measure of love is faithfulness which is nourished by gratitude. Second, the measure of faith is trust nourished by charity.
Now, if anyone asks me what you do as a Religious, I say: “I’m just being myself.”
What is your mission as Religious, I say: “My mission is Love.”
Why did you choose to be Religious, I say “Because I want to love and to be loved.”